Reflections from 2025

On the wall of Young Research Library, there’s a quote that goes like: “what I think proper is too boring to write, but what I know is too controversial to put in words.” I thought about this often as I wrote this.

I am American

You never know how “regional” you are until you leave. In 2025, I had the privilege to travel and cannot deny my American-ness. Of course it comes in my accent, my clothes, my volume, but also in my attitudes. Most days, I take for granted opportunities that are unfathomable to people even in the “developed” world. These include an unstilted professional world, the faith my responsibilities will match my merits, and the live option to contribute (in some way) to world history via proximity to where it happens.

I remember a conversation with a South African who finished a graduate degree in ML. I asked why she didn’t work in safety like one of our friends. She said “well he’s American and so are all the good labs. I don’t have a shot.”

Despite being born here, I also consider myself “American by choice”. I know I could leave, but I don’t. I also know — somehow — that if I was born somewhere else I would claw my way across the world to get here.

“Internet intelligentsia” content is entertainment, nothing more

In college I got my kicks from the “blogosphere”. For me, it was Tyler Cowen, Slate Star Codex/Astral Codex X, Scholar’s Stage, Applied Divinity Studies, EA/rationalist blogs, dozens of sites from individuals, affiliated podcasts, etc… I read them because they filled an intellectual gap of mine and, to be honest, it felt a little subversive to read thoughtful, long-form content on the internet. When Tyler blogged about Stubborn Attachments or Amanda Askell talked through infinite ethics, it felt like I was expanding myself.

As an adult, I stopped reading/listening to most of them. Unless you’re an academic, policymaker, or writer, most of the blogosphere is irrelevant to you. Its value to the layperson is creating a sense of “understanding” or “satisfying curiosity” through fun puzzles or big questions. At the end of most pieces, I started thinking “That was nice. What do I do with this information?” and I had no good answer. (For VC or tech-sponsored blogs/podcasts, I stopped engaging after I realized they are slightly more than propaganda). As soon as you have your first Gell-Mann earworm, you can’t get it out.

I still read blogs/listen to podcasts, but only from people that don’t make their living on blogs/podcasts.¹

Attitude is everything

One day I asked myself “is there any reason not to be the most optimistic, uplifting, energetic, positive person you know? Someone that believes in themselves and their friends more than anyone else?” and decided there wasn’t.

Wear your values

This year I decided on some values to live by. Unless I’m exercising, they’re on my body somewhere. They’re great conversation-starters (baristas especially) and reminders of what’s important to me. I’ve taken a look down, said “oh yeah, I’ve committed to that”, and talked myself out of a couple bad decisions.

I won’t share those values here. All I’ll say is they’re very old and don’t include “agency” or “curiosity”.

I no longer believe in organizations. Only individuals.

A favorite book this year was “Inventing the Renaissance” by Ada Palmer. There’s a vignette where her renaissance history class and a different political science class convene to talk about the War of the League of Cambrai.²

Both professors pose the same questions (e.g. why was this city-state unstable?) to both classes and get different answers. The political science students say, and I’m paraphrasing, “well the city-state had this form of government which renders it inherently unstable.” The history students say “The Duke was a madman who had a vendetta against his neighbors. Of course it was unstable.” It’s the difference between what Palmer calls “Great Forces History” and “Human Agency History.”

I think both forms of history are correct, but the latter is more correct. I think so because the language of “human agency” is what we use when we’re actually inside an organization, trying to get things done or explain a decision. Organizations are just collections of individuals who have hopes, fears, ambitions, skills, and faults. Examining these individuals offers more “explanatory power” (and practical power) over the behavior of the organization than anything else.

LA, I love you

(I’ll never apologize for this)[https://www.bldgblog.com/2007/10/greater-los-angeles/]. I love the desert and the ocean, the way the valley splays beneath you as you cross the hill going north on the The 405. I love how what you call sterile sprawl is actually dozens of sub-cities. I, in a perverse way, love how the light pollution obscures the celestial stars to remind us that, no, the stars live on Earth in Los Angeles. I love how the two dominant industries are Entertainment and Aerospace. I love the food and mid-century modern architecture. I love Joan Didion and Snoop Dogg. And I especially love how maligned this place is by people who decided to see Santa Monica and Disneyland in the same day.

Dress better

Roll your eyes. A man in his 20s realizes that dressing nice matters while the world has known since time immemorial. Guilty as charged.

What I underestimated was how much dressing nicely would matter to me. By default, adult life has few creative choices. It doesn’t take much to strive to make yourself a (literal) work of art every day to complement the figurative aspect.

There are only two rules of leadership

One of my favorite books this year was The Education of Cyrus. There’s a scene where Cyrus is about to lead an army on a campaign against the Assyrians. He asks his father for some advice before he leaves. His father’s answer was roughly:

1. Be among the best in the world at what you do
2. Take care of your people

And you can bring glory and prosperity to your friends and crush your enemies.

Tennis, I love you

Everyone already knows this about me, but it’s worth saying again. Tennis is the single discrete domain that has given me the most in life. In the beginning it gave me motor skills, time with my dad, a team, and the knowledge that if you practice, you can beat 45-year-olds at men’s open ³. In its second act, tennis has given me friends, odd jobs, competition as an adult, more time with my dad, brushes with greatness[^Ena], and a way to exercise for life.

Because of this, my kids are going to be good (but not necessarily great) at tennis. They don’t have a choice. Tennis is the best teaching aide I have to impart coordination, a love of exercise, how to compete and handle stress, and the fact deliberate practice yields results, to children. My kids don’t need to be pros or even play college. If it gives them 20% of what it gives me, I’m content.⁴

If you do/use something every day, spend the money and energy to make it nice.

Then you don’t need to worry about it.